Unable to conceive – does this fact define me?
Women all over the world are under scrutiny. This aspect often is so strong that it makes a woman question her identity based on the inability to conceive. This is seen amongst the most educated and sophisticated societies.
The sadness and frustration of not having a lineage is often thrown on to the woman. With this heavy burden on one’s shoulder there are lots of emotions that will run through the mind of the woman.
Here are some of the thoughts that plague the mind of women:
“This is because of me.”
“My body’s dysfunction is the reason behind me being unable to conceive.”
“There is something wrong with me.”
“I will never be able to have children.”
“I will be the cause of dishonour for my family.”
“I will never be able to make my family happy.”
“We will be incomplete without a child.”
Science has proven that there are multiple reasons for infertility.
Some concerns are addressed here: Lifestyles, work intensity, anxious prone mentality, ovulation, blocked fallopian tubes, endometriosis, underlying medical problems.
1. Lifestyle: In the present-day culture, lifestyle changes have been dramatic. There is a lot of advancement in terms of exercise and understanding of how the body functions. However, since there are major advancements and increase with work load, one may not find the time to care for the body. Awareness and increase of knowledge on the type of food that will help keep the body healthy has benefitted a lot however, that knowledge is put against the work culture of the society.
2. Work environment: As much as advancement have come in there is an increase in the expectations from the work place. There is definitely a surge over the years in the thought process of extracting more work labour from the work force than what was expected before. New targets, new goals are the undercurrent of all dialogues in the work environment. With this large bell resounding – it is often inevitable to join the cry of the entire workforce, because then it becomes all about one’s survival in the work force.
3. Anxious prone mentality: There is a lot of research to prove that anxiety has negative effects on the body and they are grave. Anxiety has a direct effect on the body and performance. It makes a big difference to the performance of an individual and attached to this is a feeling of inadequacy and that takes an emotional toll on the body.
4. Ovulation: Each woman has ovulation happening at different periods of time. During the menstrual cycle, there are three factors that come into play. Reproductive hormones, oestrogen and progesterone, these three works together to stimulate the ovaries. When this occurs, the follicles begin to grow and inside each follicle is the immature egg. This egg starts to mature. Out of these maturing eggs only one dominant egg will be released. While the ovaries are preparing to release the egg, the uterus lining gets ready to receive the egg that is fertilized. Ovulation happens every 11th day and 21st day. Each woman’s body is different and this works differently on their cycles and the days can change accordingly. The process of ovulation happens with some symptoms like an increase in sexual desire, cramps and unusual pain, and extra cervical mucus. This is important to understand as each woman is made differently, her body responds differently, therefore comparing with each other can prove to be extremely draining and useless.
5. Blocked fallopian tubes: There are two fallopian tubes attached to the uterus, if one or both the tubes are blocked, the egg cannot reach the uterus, the sperm as well will not be able to reach the egg which prevents fertilization and the chances of getting pregnant are slim. If the tubes are partially blocked that can give rise to partial blockage. This increases the chances of tubal pregnancy or ectopic pregnancy. The symptom of a blocked fallopian tube is perhaps infertility. When the individual has noticed that it has been almost a year since not getting pregnant, the doctor will usually suggest a specialized X-ray to check the condition of the fallopian tubes.
6. Endometriosis: This is a condition where the lining of the uterus grows on the outside of the uterus, often extending to the fallopian tubes, ovaries and the pelvic wall. The usually symptom of this condition is pelvic pain. What could be major contributors to this issue is one’s genetic makeup, environmental factors, and lifestyle. There are several theories to the reason why this could happen however, the major contention is that it reduces the ability is conceive which cannot be negated. Chronic non – menstrual pelvic pain, bleeding between periods, having other unexplainable pain, painful defecation can all suggest a case of endometriosis.
7. Other underlying conditions cannot also affect the conceiving process. Some factors such as thyroid irregularities, other powerful drugs such as cancer medication all need to be considered when considering conceiving and pregnancy.
Looking at all these considerations itself tells us that it doesn’t make sense to put down one’s identity based on the medical condition of our body. However, if these concerns are addressed, it helps to reduce the mental tension and understanding that is required for the sanity of the individual. It is crucial to remember that one’s identity is not based on the number of children one might have, nor it is based on one’s inability to conceive. It has a lot to do with one’s character and one ability to accept one another not based on the standards that the world sets but on realistic aspects. The pressure to comply will always be there.
The real freedom comes when an individual is able to accept themselves as they are. That is the greatest gift to oneself and to others that are around them.
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