When children are young, setting boundaries for them is a natural part of parenting. They are taught not to interrupt, not to hit, to listen to instructions and to communicate their needs using their words. Discipline is a normal part of the parent-child relationship.
However, once children leave the home and begin to interact with other children their age at school, there are different boundaries that need to be set. Children are launched into a new environment, away from the safety of their homes. They are surrounded by other children and have to navigate a new social situation, with new rules and new players.
An important skill that a child will need to navigate and thrive in this new arena is setting boundaries and respecting the boundaries set by others. A big part of this is expressing what they need and recognizing the needs of others. Empathy and Self-awareness are key here- being able to understand where others are coming from but also being aware of things that might be uncomfortable.
Children do not learn only by instruction; they learn with practice. Making lists of scenarios where children know they need to ask for help, emotions that might indicate that something is not right, or personal physical boundaries that are clear about what is acceptable and what is not. Sitting with your child and practicing statements and phrases they can use to communicate their needs and ask for help is important – they may not know how to do that on their own. Children will need to be taught to advocate for themselves and for their own boundaries.
Children also learn by observation – practice setting boundaries at home so that children can model that behaviour. Discuss examples with children, give them hypotheticals so that if a situation does arise, they are able to recognize a potentially harmful interaction and know what to do in that situation.
It is also important to respect your child’s boundaries at home, to encourage them to understand and communicate their limits. When parents respect their child’s limits at home, the child learns to expect this from others as well.
Children are resilient, observant, much quicker to learn than they might seem. They are constantly watching, processing, emulating. This is why it is important to have regular conversations with your child, to make sure that they are growing, learning and processing in a healthy way.
Comments