Parents, let’s face this - this stage can be so confusing, especially when you have no idea why your teen is acting the way that they are.
Will I ever understand what my boy is going through?
Why is my girl making such a big issue about such a small thing?
These are some questions that might be running in your mind. One of the most powerful and impact relationships is one of a parent and child relationship. So, investing in this relationship has a lot of investment for the future. Let’s try to understand what is happening with your teen.
First of all, their body is going through a lot of changes. When a child comes to this stage of adolescence, there are a lot of changes that come over the body and thinking process. There is a change in the hormonal levels. There are evident changes that happen in terms of physical as well as mental functioning. Evident changes happen due to growth spurts. There will be an increase in questioning, questions about the future, aspirations and ambitions. This will also bring in lots of doubts and fear of the future. This is also a stage where the individual is trying to understand themselves better – their likes, desires and interests.
Now here if the parent is going to dismiss the teen, then they feel they have no connection with the parent. They tend to run to peers who listen to them or take them seriously. They may run to the opposite sex to feel wanted and acknowledged.
So, what I can do in this situation? How can I connect with my teen?
1. Reach out to my teen. Have wholesome talks, find areas to connect. May be in the type of music that he or she likes or in a sport that they like. It can even be in doing activities together. Create that bond and safe place for the teen to interact with you and also be open about his or her feelings and what they are going through. This is also a way to celebrate the young man or young woman that they are turning out to be. Rather than criticizing their every move or minimizing their initiations, celebrate their uniqueness. It helps them to feel safe with you.
2. Never hold the child back from experiencing different situations. As parents we want to shelter our children because we don’t want our children to hurt. However, without allowing them to fail they will not know the meaning of rising up after a failure. They will not know the importance of having the right attitude towards success and how enjoy others’ successes.
3. Taking his opinion in things will help the child feel valued and important. Sometimes as parents, you might tend to dismiss their opinions and that will make them feel small. We end up making decisions for them which could handicap the child from thinking for himself or herself. Giving them space will help them feel that their opinions are important to the family and it gives them a sense as their voice is being heard. Always have an open ear to your teen. This will bring a bridge of communication between the two of you. That will set the course for a great relationship and journey together.
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