“I found that with depression, one of the most important things you could realize is that you’re not alone” – Dwayne Johnson
Depressive individuals are often under the impression that they are alone in this journey. A lot of this is caused because when they go on this journey, there are behaviours that develop over time. As these behaviours develop, they begin to withdraw from family, friends and the crowds. These behaviours include being irritated, withdrawn from people, resistant to participate, decrease in weight, unable to get off from the bed.
As they withdraw, these are some thoughts that the individual may struggle with.
Thought # 1: I am useless, there is no point.
Thought # 2: I will never get out of this; this is going to go on forever.
Thought # 3: Nobody will understand me, even if I try to explain.
Depressive individuals usually have repetitive thoughts that handicaps the individual from daily functioning. These thoughts are irrational and there is no real evidence to prove it. Once these irrational thoughts set in then it becomes the individual’s belief system and the cycle of self- destruction begins.
One of the ways to come out of this destructive cycle is to talk to someone about it. Reaching out to friends or different support groups can help in dealing with these emotions. Speaking to friends will help you to be transparent with them and bring out your fears. They will be able to listen to you and help you to rationally think about these issues. Of course, this comes with a lot of trust in the individual and the relationship that has been cultivated over years.
Looking at the first thought, “I am useless, there is no point”, here we can see that the individual is thinking that there is a criterion for being a loser and it is these thoughts that makes them a loser. That itself is illogical. “Useless” is a term where there is a standard to meet. Who has set this standard and checking what this thought is based on will help to see that the thought is illogical?
Moving forward to the second thought, “I will never get out of this, this is going to go on forever.” This is where an individual is a predicting even before the event has happened that something is going to go wrong or it is all going to be bad. This is happening probably because there is another event that hasn’t gone well or it is based on a pessimistic attitude. There is no proof that this thought is going to go on forever. Therefore, trying to base these thoughts on evidence will help to thwart these thoughts. Replacing with positivity is also another way that one can get over this.
Closing in at the third point, “Nobody will understand me, even if I try to explain.” There is a general impression that people cannot understand what we are going through, however a healthy way to release these emotions is by speaking them out. It is crucial to have friends that you can trust. A lot of this exchange happens in a trusting environment. Unless one has tried to speak to a trusted friend there is no way to know if you can or can’t be understood.
Being involved with people groups will also help you to accept the help of therapists and counsellors. This will prove to be a great asset and it will help you to tackle these thoughts and help you to live a healthy and productive life.
Read our articles on Depression and Managing Emotions here: The Big Word that Starts With 'D' ; Strategies to Help Manage Emotions – Part 1; Strategies to Help Manage Emotions – Part 2
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