Nancy and her husband bob were so excited over the fact that they were new parents. They have been married for four years and they had been discussing about starting a new family. It seemed like this was impossible because they have been trying for many years now. Nancy’s family was so excited, Bob’s family needs to be told soon. This all seems to be happening so fast. Just as Nancy had crossed 8 weeks, she felt an uneasiness in her abdomen area. There was a sharp shooting pain and she noticed drops of blood. They rushed immediately to the emergency room and Nancy could immediately feel there was something wrong. The doctor assured her that many women go through this and she immediately knew that she had lost the baby. They have been trying ever since then but Nancy has had miscarriages after miscarriages. The sadness that she experienced was beyond what she could explain. Every time she got pregnant, she would feel a sense of fear and trepidation. A sense of uneasiness. All the pain and rush to the emergency room just flashes in her mind. She finds it difficult to even process those emotions.
All these questions keep coming into her mind:
How could happen to me?
What’s wrong with me?
Am I ever going to have the joy of having children?
At this rate this looks impossible. These are the thoughts that are upsetting Nancy now. Bob felt better when he immersed himself at work. He couldn’t bear to see Nancy cry so much. With bob so engrossed with work all Nancy could do was think of the lost babies.
Nancy’s story is a very common story. We have all come across women and loved ones who have experienced this at some point. What is crucial to remember each woman handles grief differently therefore handling women who have had these issues must be done with utmost care.
Sometimes we get into the mentality of one size fits all but with grief and loss of life this is far from the truth.
Loss such as this can be a lonely and traumatic ride. One may seem okay on the outside, however, the individual might be badly affected by it. It is not easy to go through something like, especially when it comes to the loss of an unborn child.
There is an attachment that comes in the mind of the mother as soon as she conceives. This could be one of the reasons why the woman gets into depression or a sense of hopelessness when she faces the loss of a child. Miscarriages are losses that cannot to be set aside. These thoughts and feelings cannot be pushed aside as unimportant. They cannot be seen as emotions that are not important. Miscarriages can cause a woman the most acute sadness she has ever experienced, “It can stunt parents with the intensity of its emotions impact says Overs (1995). Miscarriage has a much-understated understanding of grief. There is an immense grief associated with a loss of a child.
Very often people brush it aside saying that the child is unborn therefore there is no grief associated with it. However, the matter is far from the truth. There is a general sense of loss, a sense that all is gone and there is no use of living now that this has happened. We may consider why this dramatic way of looking at things. The individual that has undergone it will tell you otherwise. There is a lot of debate that the foetus has no feelings and it doesn’t matter. However, the feelings that a mother has cannot be denied. Medically, it is proven that there is a lot of attachment that a going to be mother makes with the unborn child sometimes without her knowledge as well. So, when a miscarriage happens it seems like a part of their being has died. It has a lot of bearing on the individuals who go through this kind of significant loss. These attachments are based on expectations, hopes and dreams that are intermixed with emotions.
We will discuss the stages of grief in part 2 of this article.
コメント