Social isolation has not been easy for most of us, let alone having to mourn the loss of your loved one while in isolation. Isolation is heightened during Lockdown. Many families are forced to bid farewell to their dear ones on live broadcasts or have to refrain themselves from physically embracing the bereaved.
The inscrutable pain of loss coupled with restrictions of expressing oneself has made this pandemic a peculiarly difficult time. The grief experience varies from person to person; however you may be pushing through, the intense sense of sorrow, feelings of guilt, emptiness and hopelessness is a part of the process. It is natural and healthy to have these responses and is necessary in order to adapt to life once again. Here are few ways you can have a healthy grieving experience in isolation.
Acknowledge your feelings and Accept them just as they are
If you notice people giving you overly optimistic advice that makes you feel worse, you have the freedom to not invite such opinion since the denial, anger, guilt and numbness is a necessary part of the grief process. You may even have thoughts that sound like, “I shouldn’t be … or I should be doing this” etc. which adds unnecessary pressure, at those point, tell yourself that it’s okay to respond this way. If you are responsible for younger ones, you don’t have to put on a brave face for them, it’s okay to have bad days when you can’t take the pain. There may even be a hundred questions that fill your mind uncontrollably, allow them to surface and accept them as questions that cannot be answered. Telling yourself that you cannot “back time or control the uncertainty of the future”, you only have the choice to make the best of the present moment.
Create virtual spaces to express your pain
It is crucial to have a trustworthy support group that act as a safe outlet for your emotions. Request the people in your support group to arrange for virtual meetings or a phone calls as a space to talk about your loved one. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with house tasks such as a homemade meals delivered to your doorstep or a bag of groceries. For those of you who are introverts, seek out a friendship with an extroverted friend who will help you break the cycle of self-isolating. The only thing you don’t want to do during this time, is socially withdraw and ignore your hurt while in social isolation. That’s why it’s important to choose whom you are comfortable expressing your emotions with and are reliable sources of comfort. Keep in mind that the healing takes time and will happen, as you allow yourself to feel your feelings.
Commit to rituals and self-care
Plan ahead a special ritual (e.g. creating an art piece, cooking their favorite meal, lighting a candle, writing a letter etc.) for their birthdays or anniversaries, to remember their life and legacy. Practice mindfulness when you notice negative emotions and thoughts resurfacing. Notice what your body and mind needs to feel better. Is it a time to disconnect and listen to some music? Is it a long drive with a warm beverage?
Whatever self-care looks like for you, don’t neglect it, since it is the very act of embracing life, which honors the wishes of your loved one.
If you feel stuck in the grief for prolonged time and it makes daily living feel impossible, it would be time to seek some professional support. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, you cannot heal what you don’t feel.
Want to read more about 15 Creative Ways to break your Lockdown Blues? Click here!
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