“Why did they have to go so soon…? I wish I’d done things differently. No one said it was going to be this tough…” This internal dialogue may strike a familiar cord, for those of you who are forced to face the reality of death unexpectedly. The regret of wishing things were different along with the overwhelming pain, makes grief to be one of the more sour lemons that life had to offer. In times like this, self-care is a crucial part of the healing process. Here are three ways you can take care of yourself:
Being proactive with your feelings:
During grief, you may feel pressured to keep a lid on your feelings because these difficult emotions may not be fully accepted or understood by others. Whether it may be overwhelming sadness, anger, guilt or hopelessness, you could be told to, “Move on, have hope, look at the bright side or stay strong”. Here’s a tip: Do not allow societal expectations of having to stay positive, block your grief experience! This is simply a result of the stigma that society attaches on grief. Care for yourself by being proactive with your feelings. Find a safe place to feel your emotions just as they are. Sounds unusual right? But this takes more courage than you realize! Radical acceptance of one’s emotions, is the first step of grieving well.
Catching your thoughts:
If you find yourself wallowing over all the things you could have done differently. You’re probably on guilt trip. Feeling regret is a natural and expected part of bereavement. Yet, it’s only a matter of time till you begin to loath yourself. Self-loathing is when you believe that you are absolutely no good & blame yourself. Self-loathing is psychologically unhealthy and if it becomes a habitual thought pattern, it can be hard to stop. Try catching your self-blaming thoughts and replacing them with kinder ones before they affect your mental health. Being intentional with your thoughts is a powerful way to care for yourself. Want to know more about guilt during grief? Click here.
Choose a new action in life:
It can be hard to live life without your loved one. If you’re hitting a dead end thinking about, how bleak your future will look, this would be an opportune moment to try something new. Make a bold lifestyle change, get a pet, do a makeover, pick up a passion etc. It can refresh your mind, channel your energy into something good and also help you regain a sense of control over yourself.
If you follow these three ways of self-care, most often than not, the moment shall pass and you will be ok! We would encourage you to consider joining our Grief support group if you could use some extra support. Group therapy can help you navigate your grief experience in a safe community of people with similar stories.
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