Quite contrary to what you may think, people tend to experience a difference in what they expect to what the reality presents. Sometimes when we approach a situation, our expectations will tell us, it will be an enjoyable experience but the reality will be that of a very different case.
We may think that a perfect job, a perfect spouse or a grand home will bring us happiness however all of this is temporary. One spends an entire lifetime in pursuit of these thrills. However, with of all this, there is still be a vacuum. Sadly, this is temporary. This could be coming from the idea that if we run towards these goals this will bring us satisfaction and happiness, when often we are running behind wrong goals.
It is good to have an idea about expectations versus reality. When we expect more than what is realistically possible, we get crushed and dejected. It makes us question our abilities and it could have a spiral effect to pulling us down. Often this is seen when considering marriage. When a person has high expectation from their spouse, it is often against the real picture that these expectations are made. So, when the spouse is unable to reach up to those expectations, it causes despair to both parties. So also, in a child when such expectations are put forward, the child may not be able to accomplish according to the parent’s expectations. This crushes the dreams of the parent and has a determinantal effect on the child’s self-worth.
Most of the times, we are comparing our lives to others and seeing that all this is coming from a thought that all is going well for others. This has a lot to do with what we are seeing on the social media or on some visual platform and then making assumptions of what their lives are made up of. However, the truth is so far from this thought.
Looking at your expectations and gauging that against reality is a good way to avoid such dilemmas. Having such high expectations can increase your stress levels and that in turn will affect the work that you do.
Ways to move forward:
Look at your situation and see what are some things that you are expecting from the situation, gauge where these expectations are coming from and whether these expectations are realistic.
Assess indicators of stress which arise at work, from not being able to handle issues at work and at home, and difficulty with relationships.
Being aware of your thought process is crucial. It will help you to be aware of these thoughts and understand where these thoughts are coming from.
When looking at social media, It is important to remind yourself when these thoughts come, it is coming from the place of pretences and expectations to keep up appearances. Comparing yourself to others will only bring disappointment and sadness. Remind yourself that the only person you need to compete is with yourself.
It is important to have healthy and realistic expectations but when these expectations go beyond what is realistic and humanly possible, that’s when all goes wrong.
SO, keep your expectations real! Read about how to develop healthy and realisitic expectations with our article on "Developing a Growth Mindset"
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