The current covid-19 pandemic is testing all of us immensely and the myriad of emotions and levels of stress are potentially hugely damaging in the short and longer term.
Children are particularly vulnerable to this. Many children are stuck in a fear zone, dealing with anxiety about things they don’t understand and a pandemic that does not seem to end. In order to grow they need to be guided through fear, learning and ultimately to growth. The diagram below has been adapted for children dealing with COVID anxiety:
Here are some things you can do as Parents and Caregivers:
Your first task will be to assess the child to determine which zone they are in. Once you have done that, work on moving them into the next zone – if they are in the fear zone, move them to the Learning zone and if they are in the learning zone move them to the growth zone.
Here are a few ways to identify which zone your child is in and move them to the next zone:
Children in the fear zone
What this looks like:
Children in who are in the fear zone and experiencing anxiety are likely to be complaining, unable to process their emotions, showing anger and frustration, easily irritated, acting out, isolation, eating problems, sleeping problems.
To get children out of the fear zone and into the learning zone, here are some things you can focus on:
Encourage them to let go of things that are not in their control by having discussions and modelling this at home
Monitor their activities to see if they are exposing themselves to stressful situations (social media, discussions with their friends, stressful situations with friends or neighbours). If they are exposed to stressful situations and stories on social media, help them restrict their usage and have regular discussions with them so that if there is anything they have read or seen that is triggering them, they are able to process it and dismiss any misunderstanding.
Children in the Learning Zone
What this looks like:
They verify information when they hear it, they stop consuming negative information compulsively (in the case of adolescents), they are able to let go of things beyond their control, they are able to identify the things that are making them anxious and take efforts to avoid them or to resolve them, they are aware of the situation around them and that people are fighting against the virus
To get children out of the fear zone and into the learning zone, here are some things you can focus on:
Help them find purpose and meaning by discussing how they can help people around them
Encourage them to find a few things to be grateful for every day
Encourage them to use their skills and use this time to develop a hobby
Teach them how to be empathetic to others’ pain
Help them focus on future goals
Give them ways they can help around the house
Create a chart of the activities they are able to do week by week as the lockdown lifts so that they are able to see small steps towards normalcy (what am I able to do this week that I couldn’t do last wee – go out for dinner, spend time with a friend, go out for ice cream, attend smalls social events, etc.). Point out small developments so that they see a way forward.
Children in the Growth Zone
What this looks like:
They are able to be productive
They adapt to change well
They respond to stressful situations with empathy
They use their time to develop their skills and explore their talents
They try to help as much as they can
They are focused on the future while being able to live in the present
They are calm and patient when dealing with stress
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