Most parents hope to see their children grow up to become well-adjusted and confident individuals who add value to society. As a result, time, energy and resources have been invested in their tender years of life in schooling, social activities and extra-curricular. The education system has also begun to cater to building up the people-skills that help become well-integrated individual of the society. An essential social skill to develop is Conflict Management. Learning how to handle conflict from a young age is an essential part of every child’s growth and development.
Now, the challenge comes with finding concrete ways to manage conflict. The skills of negotiation, emotional regulation, empathy, assertiveness and communication are all part of the process, and every child learns them through trial and error. Most children naturally learn from experiences and carry on their learnings to create healthy relationships as adults in the real world. But, according to recent findings, parental involvement in the learning of social skills can significantly reduce peer hostility. If you want to play an active role in helping your child build up their interpersonal skills, here are few tips you can follow:
Accept that conflict is normal: There may be a misconception about the need to avoid conflict as if it were a bad thing, but in reality, conflict is a part of any healthy friendship. But if bullying is mistaken as conflict, adult intervention is advisable. Read more about how to distinguish peer conflict and bullying in our article here.
Name and validate upsetting emotions: When a fight takes place, children may feel several emotions such as loneliness, anger, frustration and sadness. Use a feelings chart and teach your child to make “I feel ___ because ___” statements; this way your child can identify emotions and also understand the reason why they are upset.
Cope with tough emotions: Help your child to understand it is okay to feel how they feel. Allowing and accepting emotions is the first step of dealing with them. Then, take deep breaths which is an effective tool to cope with tough emotions.
Help build empathy: Teach your child to be a good listener. Listening to their friend’s side of the story can help them look at the problem from a different point of view.
Collaborate towards a solution: Help your child choose a win-win solution. Win-win solution is when no one wins the argument, but gives up a part of what they originally demanded in order to maintain the friendship.
Hope these tips come in handy! We have organized a peer conflict resolution group, which you can consider enrolling your child for. Peer-Group Counselling is an effective way to help your child learn practical people-skills in a fun and supportive community of friends. This is a great way to help your child gain the necessary life skills to thrive in a social world.
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