Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself — how you feel about your abilities and limitations. When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving the respect of others. When you have low self-esteem, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. You might constantly worry that you aren't good enough.
Self-esteem begins to form in early childhood. Factors that can influence self-esteem include:
Your thoughts and perceptions
How other people react to you
Experiences at home, school, work and in the community
Illness, disability or injury
Age
Role and status in society
Media messages
ADHD and self-esteem can sometimes be difficult to pair up, especially in children. When children feel good about themselves, everything goes a little easier for them and their parents. But poor self-esteem is a big problem for children with ADHD — and an even bigger problem for the 50 percent or so of children with ADHD who also have learning difficulties.
To feel good about themselves, children need two things: the sense that they’re successful, both socially and academically, and unconditional love from their parents. If either ingredient is missing, a child will have a hard time developing a sense of self-esteem.
ADHD can make it hard to focus. So, if your child does have ADHD, they're more likely to get bad grades, detentions, and suspensions. They also might have bad social skills and may face rejection from their peers.
Parents, friends, and other authority figures like teachers and caregivers may lose patience, get frustrated with them, and may try to criticize and “correct” their behavior.
“There's lots of negative feedback coming from all of these different directions, and they internalize that and start to feel really badly about themselves,” says Andrea Chronis-Tuscano, PhD, a professor of psychology and director of the University of Maryland ADHD Program.
Several studies find that as children with ADHD grow into adults, their self-esteem tends to drop over time because of mounting criticism and challenging life experiences.
In severe cases, Chronis-Tuscano says, low self-esteem can make depression and suicide more likely.
Recognize your child’s successes -- big or small. Chronis-Tuscano encourages parents and teachers to focus on the positive things instead of pointing out what they’re struggling with.
Give lots of praise. Giving credit and being specific about it can bring about positive reinforcement for your child. Not only can that improve your child’s self-esteem, but it also can help them understand what it takes to accomplish basic tasks.
Identify their strengths. Focus on what your child is already good at and encourage them to pursue it. This can boost their pride and sense of accomplishment. - Find a career and a path where they can really capitalize on their strengths, and where their difficulties are not so impairing for them. Help identify things they are especially skilled in.
Break down tasks and make them fun. If your child finds certain activities hard to do, experts say it helps to break them down into small, manageable tasks. This way, you can give them a chance to be successful. It can include a reward for doing things they don’t necessarily like.
Model good behavior. To cut down on negative feedback your child might get, you may have to show them what good behavior looks like.
Find or ask for help if you need it. Children with ADHD may need help to get through school tasks like homework and other chores at home. You may not be able to provide all of the support and help they need. If you can’t manage the demands, it’s OK to ask for professional help.
As you work to help your student achieve academic success, see what you can do to improve her acceptance among her peers. Observe her as she interacts with them during free play, during structured activities, and in organized sports.
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